Mission Impossible 4

[Norbal]

Arrr pirate!!

P.S. Hands pwn all

[Ciggie]

holy s*** youve outdone yourself again keeper. This episode is as funny as hell. never thought we were gonna wage war on the ARKs, let alone already the hordes of news reporters we gotta war on too hehe.
keep it coming cant wait to see what that pwning in the face is

[Docnamdkeeper]

Ok this next episode will be the last.

We will finally find out what this great pwning in the face thing is.

Tell all your friends about this series.

And to add extra drama....

SOMEONE....
WILL...
DIE....
PERMANENTLY!
*GASP!*

Stay tuned to find out what and who....

*sings* Closing time.... every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.....

[Reneaa]

SOMEONE....
WILL...
DIE....
PERMANENTLY!
*GASP!*

i bet it's Windam

[Berrenta]

i bet it's Windam

Unless if he gives some1 else the nerfbat ()

[Docnamdkeeper]

Unless if he gives some1 else the nerfbat ()

Quick Preview......

Windam gasped. "So one of us.... will have to stay here and detonate the bomb manually with the nerfbat? And be killed permanently?"
Snooklear nodded gravely.
"Or we could just-" Mindkeeper began, but was interrupted when the nerfbat suddenly began to sing a song by H.I.M.
Nerfbat: Would you die tonight for love? Baby, join me in death.
Windam: Oh my god...
Snooklear: It's a romance....
Sefus: Like Romeo and Juliet.
Tropicana: They're together in eternity.
Nerfbat: We could be like they are.....
Quieromorir: Esto lista para tu llamada, esta listo para tu seis seis seis en su corazon....
Mindkeeper: Dood you guys are all (censored)ing insane.
The DiePod's song skipped and it started playing "Yeah you're really one to talk" by "Unknown artist".

[Sefus88]

ROFL!!

Nerf ARKS OMG!

[Docnamdkeeper]

Chapter 5
Part 2
Closing Time.

The alien looked around.
First it had found a box that should have held ratings, but instead held six humans, and now the humans had escaped. Curses.
There were six garbage cans though...
He tapped on one. "Who's in there?" he asked.
"Just the garbage." the first one replied.
The alien's eyes narrowed as he looked at the garbage can critically. "Why shouldn't I search in this can and find out?"
"Because someone threw away some worthless lead viral bots in here."
The alien nodded and walked off. "I always wondered why generals always carried that worthless junk. And why that junk talks to me but nobody else."
A few minutes later they all emerged.
"There really viral bots in there?" Tropicana asked Windam as he hopped out of the garbage can he had been hiding in.
"Yeah, but I had to delete them for inflation reasons.... why are you all staring at me? And get that angry look off your faces!"
"We..... could have..... all of us.... been rich....." Sefus moaned.
"We better get a phat payout for saving Rubi-Ka or I'm going to kill you when we get back!" Snooklear hissed.
"That's it!" Mindkeeper shouted. "I was gonna vote that Asheal was the nerfest ARK, but now I'm gonna vote for you!"
Windam sighed. "I just saved you all from the root of all evil! You should be thanking me."
"NOT having phat stacks of cash when you COULD is the root of all evil!" Snooklear spat angrily.
They all suddenly went dead silent at the sound of alien footsteps.
Another alien walked into the alley. Just a bunch of garbage cans. He wandered off.
"Hey, there are lead bots in mine too," Tropicana piped.
"Verdad?" Quieromorir asked.
"Really?" Sefus asked.
"No."

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD!" Bleodemm cried. "GET DEMONMUFFIN AWAY FROM THE CONTROLS!!!"
Demonmuffin looked away from the steering devices and gave a manical grin to the other five people in his team (who were all banged up very badly). "But guys! I just did a triple-indy nutbuster squirrelfight nerfbat gyropunker!"
"So what?!" Llenlleawg spat. "Whats that do for us?"
"We get boost!" Demonmuffin shouted excitedly. "Watch this!"
Everyone was instantly slammed into the rear wall of the ship as it hurled forward at an incredible speed.....
"We should be arriving at the Kyr'Ozch homeworld in about fifteen minutes! But to get that much boost, I'll have to do a quadruble cardboard Lord of the Rings double bypass disco hang-glide."
Shakesphere hugged the wall for dear life. "Only fourteen minutes and fourty seconds.... only fourteen minutes and thirty eight seconds...."

"So you'll nerf Efus bombs then?" Omutb asked.
"Well," Silirrion began. "Yes, in the next patch. The 16.4"
Craziiblade gasped. "bUt ThAt PaTcH iS nEvEr CoMiNg OuT!"
Asheal shook her head, almost displacing her huge pink sunglasses. "The 16.4 patch will come out approximately ten weeks after the upcoming 16.3 patch, wich is on schedule to come out the twelth of never."
"Curses!" Omutb cursed. "Is there nothing we can do to make you come out with the patch... a little early?"
Asheal, Silirrion, and all the other ARK's exchanged glances.
"There are.... some...." Asheal bagan. "Particular trolls on the forums. We would appreciate it if you could... remove them from a position in which they force us to lock threads so much..."
Omutb nodded. "I will do this for you, but understand that some day, and this day may never come, I will call upon you to do a favor. I'm thinking the 16.3 patch tomorrow would be nice."
"Deal!" Asheal called quickly. "His name's randomnumber. He's usually trolling around bor, go kill him. FAST!"

The mob stopped.
Where had General Li'Angreh gone to?
Actually he had been CC'd, that's all. He was currently running off to his ship....
But when he got there, found it not there.
Odd.
And where had the mob gone off to?
He looked behind him and saw the city of Borealis, bustling with about twenty thousand too many people crowding it.
Then Omutb, Joanbot, Craziiblade, Enterdragon, Berenta, and Cigara all zoned together out of the grid and into bor.
And then their jaws dropped.
How would they find one person in entire population of Rubi-Ka crammed into a medium sized city?
Joanbot sighed, watching some lanky goofball in red and white striped sweater and hat combo stride past, winking beneath his thick glasses and tapping his cane on the ground.
"How de we even know he's in here?" Cigara asked.
"Shhh," Berrenta replied. "Listen..."
Sumnewb shouts: OMG CREDS PLX
Knokknokjoke shouts: WHY'D THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Coww shouts: TO GET TOO THE CHIK-FIL-A ON THE OTHUR SIED!
Alex11 shouts: NO REVENGE PLZ I JUST WANT A SWORD STONE BOX LOOT IN LOOT BOX STONE SWORD BOX BOX FOR MY APARTMENT BOSS!!!!
Randomnumber shouts: OMG YOU ALL SUCK I AM THE UBER! YES ADVS ARE GOOD AND ANYONE WHO COMPLAINS ABOUT THEM IS A NOOB! I WILL COME UP FROM BEHIND YOU WITH MY LONG AND RESPECTED OPINION AND YOU CAN CHOKE ON IT AND DIE KTHXBIE!
"Hey!" Exclaimed Enterdragon. "I really wanna kill that randomnumber guy. And who's the guy we're supposed to kill for the ARK's?"
"tHaT wOuLd Be HiM," Craziiblade replied.
"H.I.M.?" Enterdragon asked. "The gothy band from Finland that is said to possess nerfbats on random occasion?"
"nO, i MeAnT tHaT's OuR tArGeT, rAnDoMnUmBeR!"
"Ah, ok, let's get him!" Enterdragon said.
"We should probably lure him out of the city so we don't hit any innocent bystander," Joanbot thought aloud. "What does this guy love to do more than anything else?"
They all thought for a moment...
"Flame the game suggestions forum?" suggested Cigara.

Windam looked around the corner of the building. "The coast is clear!" he shouted.
Everyone rushed over to where he was.
"Ahora," Quieromorir panted. "Necesitamos hacer una disastre grandisimo y todos los canales serian aqui donde todo el matando es...."
Tropicana looked at him. "We need to make some sort of disaster?"
Quieromorir's face brightened. "Muy excelente! Hablas espanol?"
"You can't equip your axes because they require parry?"
Quieromorir sighed.
Snooklear jumped. "I know! We could use the last Efus bomb! The one Mindkeeper has!"
Mindkeeper jumped up. "You're right, and we could use Windam's nerfbat to make the explosion extra-huge to make certain that no media outlet ignores the opportunity!"
"But," Sefus gasped. "Since we're so far away from reclaim technology, won't we all be killed off permanently?"
Everyone froze.
Then suddenly out of the sky appeared an alien ship, stopped at a hover above them.
They started to leg it, but stopped when they saw Demonmuffin step out of the ship's ground teleport and into thin air.
Thin air, being a naturally bad support, collapsed right out from under him, sending him on a three story vacation as they were called on the alien planet.
THUMP!
Demonmuffin hopped to his feet as the rest of his team made their way to the ground the correct and less painful way.
"Guys! Guys!" Bleodemm shouted. "I never thought we'd find you all!"
"We're saved!" Windam gasped. "Huzzah!"
"Wait!" Snooklear gasped. "Even if we were to all get away," he shouted, ruining all the happy of the moment. "How will we detonate the Efus bomb? We could have it play a song and detonate once we're a safe distance away... but it will only be effective enough and cause enough destruction to draw media attention.... if a nerfbat is used on it..."
Windam gasped. "So one of us.... will have to stay here and detonate the bomb manually with the nerfbat? And be killed permanently?"
Snooklear nodded gravely.
"Or we could just-" Mindkeeper began, but was interrupted when the nerfbat suddenly began to sing a song by H.I.M.
Nerfbat: Would you die tonight for love? Baby, join me in death.
Windam: Oh my god...
Snooklear: It's a romance....
Sefus: Like Romeo and Juliet.
Tropicana: They're together in eternity.
Nerfbat: We could be like they are.....
Quieromorir: Esto lista para tu llamada, esta listo para tu seis seis seis en su corazon....
Mindkeeper: Dood you guys are all (censored)ing insane.
The DiePod's song skipped and it started playing "Yeah you're really one to talk" by "Unknown artist".
Mindkeeper shrugged, grabbed Windams Nerfbat and the DiePod, and began to move them closer and closer together.
"NO!" Llenlleawg shouted. "YOU'LL PERMA KILL US ALL!"
"DONT DO I!" Bleodemm shouted.
"DO IT DO IT!" Demonmuffin squealed manically.
"DA NOS LO! DA NOS LO!" Quieromorir shouted.
Mindkeeper sighed. "Relax, the hold button is on."
Everyone calmed down, and Mindkeeper used the earbuds to tie the DiePod securely to the nerfbat.
"We fly a safe distance off the ground, take the hold button off, and throw it down. Simple as that."
Everyone clapped.
Inside Mindkeeper's head... Mind: See, I do use my powers for good. Keeper: Lies! you're evil! you're gonna try and kill us all!

Randomnumber sniffed. Was that.... a forum to flame?
Quickly he rushed outside the city where a thread was nested on a large rectangular block of wood. He pounced.
Then some big metal thing slammed down and decapitated him.
"Wow, the revamped mousetrap design worked," muttered Joanbot.
"I'm petitioning now," Omutb declared.
/petition he's been killed.
This has been auto-classified as a harrassment. An ARK will be with you in a few hours.
/petition he's gone
This has been auto-classified as a lost items case. An ARK will be with you in a few days.
/petition The job you wanted us to do is done.
Are you in a safe location and able to talk to an ARK right now?
Omutb hit the yes button and Asheal appeared.
"Good work!" she declared. "But unfortuanately, we discovered some new bugs that we should fix in the next patch, so it might be a few days late. Ta-taa."
With that she disappeared.
"NERF ARKS!" Berrenta shouted. "They're ALL the nerfest!"
"Well," Omutb sighed. "At least thanks to us the 16.3 patch might actually come out sometime.

Snooklear watched as the alien city got smaller and smaller underneath them. "Alright Mindkeeper," Snooklear said with a grin, holding the nerfbat out. "Since this is your idea, you're the one who has to risk his life to pull it off."
Mindkeeper shrugged. "Here goes," he said, taking the nerfbat.
Suddenly there was a great ripping noise.
Mind: FOOLS!
Mind: NOW I HAVE THE NERFBAT!
Mind: AND I CAN PERMA KILL MY TWO WORST ENEMIES!
Keeper: I knew it!
Mind grabbed Keeper by the arm and threw him down the hatch.
"You're next Fishbowl!" Mind shouted.
[Keeper]: You're forgetting something...
To [Keeper]: and what would that be?
[Keeper]: You can always use hostile nanos on yourself, no matter where you are.
Keeper executes Uncontrollable Body Tremors in your NCU.
Mind collapsed in a heap, shaking violently.
Then he fell out the hatch and his spazzing arm threw the nerfbat away from him.
And he had turned the hold button off.....
"GO GO GO!" Bleodemm shouted back on board the ship. "It's too late for either of them, we have to go before we all get killed permanently!"
Blackice2 looked down the hatch at the city, somewhere in there Mind and Keeper were.....
"Do you think they're still alive?" he asked, horrified at the thought of seeing a person die permanently.
BOOOM!!!
"Get the engines running!" Llenlleawg shouted. "We're getting pelted by exclamation marks! If we don't get moving soon, then the eleventyones will get us!!"
Blackice2 sighed as the alien planet disappeared from view.
That's a really crappy way to die permanently. Killed by an alter personality.
Fishbowl looked down the hatch to where his two alter personalities had just taken their last breaths.
And shrugged and went back.

General Li'Angreh listened to his comms device.
And I repeat, a massive bomb has gone off on the alien homeworld, wiping the city of Pikachu off the map. No permanent deaths have been reported yet, but the city is uninhabitable. All news stations have dropped what they were doing to cover this event, except for Kyr'Fox, who thinks that dedicating all their force, which is frikkin' huge btw, towards wiping out the Humans of Rubi-Ka in hopes of saving the Kodiaks and being the sole person to get footage of it, securing a monopoly on the ratings of Rubi-Ka. Back to you Marklar.
General Li'Angreh looked up...
Any station but Kyr'Fox.....

News Brigaider Rae'Tings watched Rubi-Ka become closer and closer.
The ratings would be all his...
Then suddenly...
THUMP!
"ARRR!" screamed a voice that sounded like a human over the intercomm. "I BE PIRATING ALL THE LOOT AND STEALING THE BOOTY! ARR HARR HARR!!"
"To the storage bays!" Rae'Tings shouted, hopping out of the captain's char and rushing towards the midsection of the ship.
But when he got there, all the cameras had been stolen the guns system had been haxx0rd, and everything replaced with store brand prescription drugs.

"OH MY GOD!!!!" General Li'Angreh shouted excitedly, hopping into Borealis. "HERE LISTEN TO THIS!" He said, posting the news report he had just gotten.
General Li'Angreh shouts: And every last news station has pulled out of Rubi-Ka as of now. The last station had their cameras stolen by the space pirate Blackdog and his crew, and what's the point of doing a good deed if you can't show the world and get ratings for it? A quick documentary has been assembled about the affairs of the Kodiaks and Humans of Rubi-Ka, and will be shown at this time, GMT.
Someguy shouts: OMG i KNEW that guy would save us!
Ohyeahright shouts: is that why you tried to have him assassinated?
Someguy shouts: shush!

Within minutes everyone had assembled into the newly expanded Omni-War lounge. Which now took up the whole of the Perpetual Wastelands Zone, and had a SWEET ten thousand foot plasma screen at the far end, which the whole population of Rubi-Ka was watching intently, waiting to be seen on TV.
"NEXT ON KYR'BEE'ESS," The mecha-surround speakers thundered. "A Documentary about the life of the Rubi-Kaans, and their struggle for survival against the oppressive news media...." the narrator for that commercial seemed to have taken a sudden fit of coughing.
Then it happenned...
The great pwning of the face of Rubi-Ka.
"WE INTERRUPT THIS FEATURE TO BRING YOU CUTE ANIMALS CLOSE UP WITH A WIDE ANGLE LENS.... WITH HATS!!!!"
Everyone watched in horror as overly cheery music played as a bunch of green alien pets in goofy headwear on bad camera angles flashed....
"Oh dear gods...." Omutb gasped, on the brink of tears.
"......" said Joanbot, her eyes watering.
"This is no time to be using your bow special attack!" Demonmuffin hissed.
"Aww man.... we got cancelled for this?" Sefus cried. "We just got pwnd in the face."



THE END!

Hope you all enjoyed, /bows.

[Perron]

*applauds*
I'll hope to see more of this in the future.... and, also;

Alex11 shouts: NO REVENGE PLZ I JUST WANT A SWORD STONE BOX LOOT IN LOOT BOX STONE SWORD BOX BOX FOR MY APARTMENT BOSS!!!!

[Ciggie]

omg omg omg
thats such a funny ending, all the war and all the aliumz news channels and nerfbats all so funny lol
kinda liked the climax where we all get pwned in the face lol been waiting for that
good job docnamdkeep i really enjoyed reading and being part of this story from Rubi-Ka

[Reneaa]

bravo!

[Sefus88]

wewt I get the last line!

GREAT JOB Docnamdkeeper!!

I love it!

[Norbal]

Oh that is great, I can't feel the sides of my stomach I'm laughing so hard.

[Docnamdkeeper]

/me briefly ponders starting another series...

A sequel series? Or something completley different?

Send in the apps just in case. Forum PM or /tells to RK2's Mindkeeper or RK1's Mind1355.

[Sefus88]

hehe keep mine on file.

I love this stuff.
Don't work yourself to death tho

[Moonleg]

I just realized, with the alien homeworld destroyed, General Li'Angreh is ... the last possible source of getting the last ever lead viral bots, and the last ever AXP ... ATTACK!

[Docnamdkeeper]

Be the first on your block to tell everyone about Mission Impossible 4!

Now with less Tom Cruisery!

[Docnamdkeeper]

/me runs through Ideas for names for a follow-up series....

The nerfbat anthology?

The chronicles of Heckler Beach.

Heck Noobery

The garden of pwnd.

hmmmm

[Perron]

The Li'Angreh Supremacy?

[Berrenta]

I vote for Heck Noobery

MI4 is still a good story, though. It found a place in my sig (For the Kodiaks!)